Volunteers Wanted!

Well, I hope all my friends in Thailand have recovered from the madness of Songkran ... no one celebrates quite like the Thais, and the New Year water festivities are loads of fun if you don't mind being wet for days on end!

But as with all parties, someone has to clean up afterwards. Unfortunately, Thailand's rivers are often the receptacle for a whole lot crap following major events, which impacts hugely on the whole environment.

A friend living in Chiang Mai just posted this fantastic community event on Facebook that's coming up on May 2 - a clean up on the Mae Wang river, an hour's drive into the mountains from Chiang Mai. The event is being held by the people at Chai Lai Orchid Nature Bungalows, and they are offering volunteers a day of free bamboo rafting, a Thai BBQ and snacks in return for pitching in and helping to clean up the river.

Sounds like an awesome cause, and a fun day to boot.

*NB - rafting is at your own risk ... and even though Thailand's rivers are generally pretty tame, there are snags and little rapids that can make it quite hazardous. My daughter once went bamboo rafting near Chiang Mai - her raft was 'steered' by an eight-year-old boy, who took them straight though the middle of a rapid. The raft snapped in two, everybody fell off, some of the customers couldn't swim, and my daughter lost her Haviana thongs ... devo. Just a cautionary tale...

HOWEVER, this does sound like a fantastic, worthwhile event, so if you're in the Chiang Mai region, get yourself down to the Mae Wang River.

Anyone interested in volunteering should email: explore@ChaiLaiOrchid.com

http://chailaiorchid.com/keep-thailand-amazing/

The Genius of Thai Low-End Fusion Cuisine

While ex-pat chefs bring traditional Thai food back to the Thais, the Thais are doing their bit in reinventing western cuisine. Culinary master Oliver Benjamin reports on the latest taste sensations...

When most people find out I now live permanently in Thailand, most knowingly wink and poke me in the ribs with an elbow and say “I bet I know why,” they say, conspiratorially, “…the food.” 

And yes, I suppose it’s true. There are many countries in South-East Asia with friendly people, warm weather and stunning scenery. But none of them can match Thailand for the anticipation that a hunger pang can produce. But what my friends back home don’t know is that they don’t know that half of it. What they think of as “Thai food” is just a tiny smidgen of what this vast culinary empire can whip up, seemingly out of thin (or in Bangkok, thick) air. 

I’m not just talking about the really weird stuff that strikes fear in the heart of the average meat-and-potatoes Western tourist. Upon visiting a local market, most visitors soon find out that beyond pad thai and tom yum goong, some Thais also fancy snacking on deep fried insects, blood tofu and pig’s ear. In fairness, these selfsame finger-pointers see nothing wrong in eating varieties of spoiled dairy products. As the French say, chacun a son gout, which is appropriate, given that they eat snails. 

Yet what I find even more fascinatingly bizarre (and, to my palate, more tasty) are the inventive concoctions that Thai cooks can come up with when trying to interpret certain staples of Western cuisine. Of course there are many authentic Italian and American restaurants here; I’m talking about the ones that are wilfully inauthentic. 

I will list my favourites here, dishes I wish I could get back at any of the zillion Thai restaurants in the West that serve exactly the same narrow sliver of dishes available in this extraordinary country. 

Thai Style Fried Macaroni
: At first blush, one can see something vaguely Italian about this dish, but appearances can be deceiving. First of all, that rich looking tomato sauce is actually sweet and sour sauce made with ketchup and soy sauce. Containing chicken, bell peppers, onion, scrambled egg and shallots, one might see some allusions to the Israeli dish “shakshuka” but Jewish influence on Thai culture, admittedly, has been minimal. Nevertheless, it is an unexpectedly delicious concoction, unless the chef takes the homage one step too far and covers it with slices of processed cheese, effectively destroying the dish. 

Thai-style Fried Macaroni - so good, it's blurry!

American Fried Rice: 
It sounds like the beginning of a joke, but it’s not, and what’s more, it’s awesome. Not only delicious, but a veiled social commentary on a plate, this ketchup-fried rice with raisins, accompanied by a fried chicken leg, hot dogs and a fried egg on top seems to aspire to the unfettered caloric ambition of most American fast-food restaurants. The raisins may seem an odd choice, but they add a piquant sweetness that perfectly complements the various layers of delicious saturated fat. 

American fried rice. The orange faecal matter is a Thai hot dog, cut into 'flowers'

The sticky rice burger
: Normally only found at the ubiquitous 7-11 convenience stores (originally a Texan company that was bought by a Japanese company which has had its greatest success in Thailand – Viva Internationalism!). Grilled pork and sticky rice is a popular dish from rural North-eastern Thailand, but who has the time for a sit-down meal? Even Isaanese farmers are finding their schedules increasingly accelerated these days. And so, the engineers at 7-11 created a pork patty sandwiched between two “buns” made of shaped sticky rice for the agrarian-on-the-go. You can even add ketchup (In case you haven’t noticed, ketchup is arguably more popular here than in the United States.) 

Special mention: 
Woe to the backpacking tourist who leaves the bosom of the beach to find that their favourite snack, the oddly-monikered “No Name” is nowhere to be found. But there is hope! These deep fried vegetable and starch balls served with sweet chili sauce are actually a Thai version of the Indian pakora. So you see, it’s not just Western favourites that Thailand has skillfully adapted into uniquely curious menu items. Japanese sushi, Taiwanese bubble tea, Korean barbecue and Chinese bao have all been given a Thai makeover here, sometimes with inspiring results (and of course, let’s be fair, sometimes not). 

In closing, let me say that if there’s one thing that separates Thai culture from most other world cultures, it’s that it is so resolutely un-separate. They have long been unafraid to incorporate elements of the outside world and make it uniquely their own. One may not always appreciate the results, but one has to admire their ingenuity, courage, and (perhaps) sense of humour. 

Okay, I think I’ve earned a scoop of Thai iced tea ice cream. Yes, you’re correct, it is as insanely delicious as it sounds.

Places in the Heart - Malibu Beach, Koh Phangan

I'm in the process of buying a house, which has got me thinking about special places in this world, places that grab you by the short and curlies, tug at heart-strings and hold a special nook in your soul. There are several locations in Thailand that are particularly important to me, places that have left an indelible impression on my heart and mind, places I yearn for when I need 'me' time. Over the next few weeks, I'll share a couple of these with my readers, which will hopefully also be a cathartic exercise for me! 

First up, one of my favourite beaches ... Malibu Beach in Koh Phangan.

"F....ing Bob Marley," Meen swears, in a most unladylike, and very un-Thai fashion. "I'm so sick of it, day after day after day!"

My daughter and I can't help but giggle - even though we are a little shocked at our massage therapist's outburst, we can't help but agree - the reggae music on 24/7 rotation at Malibu Beach Bungalows can wear a little thin. And dear little Meen, whose massage sala is idyllically located right on the beach, cops it constantly.

Soundtrack aside, life at Malibu Beach is sweet. Very sweet. For visitors like us, the Marley soundtrack pumped from the beach bar seems appropriate, the perfect accompaniment to the relaxed, super-chilled vibe of this near-perfect Thai beach. 

Located in the north of Koh Phangan, Malibu Beach is a popular hangout for day-trippers from the southern beaches, as well as the residents of the attached resort. My daughter and I have chosen to stay here, well away from the Full Moon party crowds of Haad Rin, but just a walk from the rustic fishing village of Chaloklum where there are plenty of restaurants and bars.

Not that we need them - Malibu Beach has its own beach restaurant and bar, where we tend to spend day-time meals at least. It's pretty deserted at night once the day-trippers leave, so our nights are usually spent either in the village or on the west coast beaches such as Haad Salad.

The day-time ambience at Malibu, however, is unbeatable. With its powder white sand and warm blue bay water, this is Thailand at its most pristine. Jo and I park ourselves under the shade of a coconut palm, and spend each day doing absolutely nothing. Occasionally we drag ourselves down to the water to swim. Then we make our way to the restaurant to eat and have a beer. Perhaps a massage at Meen's beach sala. Then a nap on the deck of our cabin, swinging in the hammock. Checking the internet on the free wi-fi (a major plus!). Reading a book. 

Life doesn't get much better than this.

The most basic bungalows at Malibu Beach start from 1000 baht a night in low season, up to 1400 over the Christmas peak season. They are pretty rustic - just a double bed (mosquito net and linen provided), and an en suite bathroom with hot and cold water. No room to swing a cat, though the hammock on the deck is a nice touch. There are bigger, more luxurious bungalows available from 2500 baht a night, but we were quite happy with what we had. 

There's also a pool at the resort - nice if you want a change from the beach - and scooters are available for hire. 

Ah, Malibu Beach. So beautiful. Man, I wish I was there right now ... lying under that coconut palm, listening to "I'm Jammin'" ... 

www.malibubeachbungalows.com

  

Mae Hong Son: Thailand's True North

Regular contributor John Borthwick admits he’s a sucker for old teak towns and mountain mists. No surprise that he loves Mae Hong Son in far north Thailand.

With some 1864 bends on the tortuous route between Chiang Mai and Mae Hong Son, you need to be a resolute traveller to not hop off the bus at Pai, roughly mid-way. However, much of this once snoozy upcountry village has now gone to T-shirt racks and night market ruin.

If Pai is a Thai-dyed farang fusion town, then Mae Hong Son, farther west, is still a living, working Thai hill town. Mae Hong Son sits just beside the Burmese border in far northwestern Thailand – a place of wood-smoke and temples, hot springs and cold nights, ATMs and opticians. It has a dreaming-pool lake and an airstrip right in the middle of town, and only one traffic light.

Now, if only it had a beach and a strip of beer bars? Thank Buddha it does not. This is a walking town. Stroll around its lake that reflects the glittering spires of Wat Chong Klang and Wat Chong Kham by day and night. On every street you’ll pass a few surviving teak buildings — boxy, two-storied shop-houses whose venerable timbers seem alive with the tales of those who’ve lived within. These grand old dames make Mae Hong Son one of Thailand’s last “teak towns.” They don’t make them like this any more, the buildings, the teak or the towns.

Wat Doi Kong Mu

I hoof it up almost a thousand steps to where Wat Doi Kong Mu sits on a mountain overlooking the town, a marzipan castle of whitewashed pagodas and golden gee-gaws. From the summit you can look across to the hothouse jungle hills of Myanmar’s Shan state. Up here, the tiny Before Sunset Café has a sunny deck, shade parasols and fine local coffee that can cause you to linger over daydreams, tossing into the valley whatever plans you might have had for the rest of the day.

Many visitors join trekking tours in the surrounding mountains and hill-tribe villages. Most of these have been "sight-seen" for decades so don't expect too much anthropological virginity. However, there will be plenty of carvings and embroidery coming at you for sale.

Other visitors take the tour to nearby Huay Sua Thao village, there to rubberneck at the so-called Long-Necks, the famous Karen tribal women who wear multiple brass rings around their apparently elongated necks. (In fact, their shoulder and collarbones are depressed rather than their vertebrae being stretched.) Advertised crudely as “Giraffe Women”, it seems to me like a human freak show, so I skip it and go play in the mud.

Mae Hong Son is known as "the City of Three Mists," thanks to its fogs in winter, bushfire haze in summer and rainy mists in wet season. I see none of these, but instead find a fourth kind of vapour – clouds of steam rising off the mineral mud pools at Phuklon Mud Spa.

Two attendants paint me from head to toe in black mud (not a pretty sight), the starting point in an hour-long ritual that involves baking dry in the sun, being scrubbed with tamarind paste, immersed in mineral springs and finally anointed with lanoline. By the end of it I feel like a million bucks although it has cost me only $25.

I don’t want to leave lovely Mae Hong Son but when I must, it is by air. Leap-frogging those thousands of bends back to Chiang Mai in 25 painless minutes is indeed a lofty pleasure.

Getting the job done ... PICS: John Borthwick

Happy Elephant Day!

It's National Elephant Day in Thailand!

Here's to a safe and happy future for Thailand's elephants, off the streets and living in natural and holistic environments where their well-being is paramount!

To celebrate, here's my favourite happy ele photo, taken at Elephant Nature Park in Chiang Mai...

Pic: Julie Miller

Thailand's Sun Bears in New Book

Forgive the shameless self-promotion, but I'd like to draw your attention to a new book about to hit bookshops on April 1.

Called 'Free the Bears', it is the auto-biography of Mary Hutton, founder of the Australian wildlife charity, Free the Bears Fund. I helped Mary write her book, and have a co-author credit.

The book tells the story of how an ordinary Perth grandmother started a charity from scratch and has subsequently made a huge difference, facilitating the rescue of hundreds of captive and abused bears in South-East Asia and India. From collecting signatures outside her local shopping centre, to creating a million-dollar charity responsible for the care of over 500 bears now living in FTB-supported sanctuaries, it's testament to the power of passion, dedication and putting beliefs into action.

One of Free the Bear's major undertakings was the creation of a bear sanctuary within the grounds of Lop Buri Zoo in Thailand. Before FTB's input, the bears in this zoo were kept in awful cages, barely big enough for them to move in. They now have a lovely enclosure with a pool, climbing equipment and access to sunlight, grass and trees.

FTB also supports bears at the Wildlife Friends of Thailand Rescue Centre near Hua Hin. Run by Dutch wildlife warrior Edwin Wiek, this sanctuary rescues injured and abused wild animals such as gibbons, leopard cats, slow lorises and even tigers, with an emphasis on rehabilitation and re-release into the wild. The 10 badly injured or disabled bears, however, have a permanent home at the centre, safe from further abuse and the dangers of poaching. 

'Free the Bears' by Mary Hutton and Julie Miller is truly an inspiration read, a must for any animal lover and supporters of wildlife charities. It also gives some insight into Thailand's stewardship of its native wildlife, which is controversial at best and frustratingly appalling at worst. But above all, the book presents a message of hope - that anyone can facilitate change if they truly believe in a cause.

'Free the Bears' by Mary Hutton and Julie will be published April 1 by Pan MacMillan. Available in any good book shop.

Thailand Etiquette and Survival Tips

After years of blunders (and much kind forgiveness by Thai people), guest blogger John Borthwick has compiled the sort of “Newbie’s Guide” to Thai survival that he wishes he’d had way back when.

POLITENESS 
Thais value good form and politeness, so learn a few basic Thai phrases, such as greetings and thanks, and keep in mind the following tips:

Heads and feet. Buddhist Thais see the head as sacred. It is impolite to touch someone else’s, so don’t pat cute kids on the head — try the shoulder. It is equally impolite to point the soles of your feet at someone. 

Royals. Thais are publically very respectful about their royals, even if they have private reservations about the system. The King is deeply revered so don’t make jokes about the monarchy, even “harmless” ones. 

Stay cool. When things go wrong, as they can, don’t lose your cool and raise your voice against a Thai person. Speak calmly and keep negotiating if possible. Thais intensely dislike losing face (or money), especially to a foreigner, so sometimes it’s less aggravation to just button your lip and walk away. 

Temples and monks. Women are never permitted to touch a monk. When visiting a temple (and there are lots of them), dress modestly (this often means no shorts or bare shoulders for women), always remove your shoes, and never point your feet at the altar. 

SURVIVAL AND SCAMS
Despite being footloose and free in the so-called Land of Smiles, we farang (foreigners) still have to watch out for scammers and our own dumb mistakes. 

Road sense. Some 8,000 people die on Thailand roads each year, and April’s Songkran (Thai New Year) festival delivers one of the worst spikes. Minimise your long-distance van or motorcycle travel during peak holidays. If you hire a motorbike, note well that unless you hold a current, valid motorcycle licence (as opposed to a car licence), your travel insurance policy (you do have insurance, don’t you?) will very possibly NOT cover your medical or damage expenses. This is definitely true for Australian policies. And good Thai hospitals are very expensive. 

Double pricing. Non-Thais pay higher entrance fees at most attractions. For example, Thai adults pay 40 baht to enter national parks while foreigners pay 400 baht. It’s much more annoying at commercial attractions. Cough up, and don’t let the discrimination spoil your day. 

Gems. Buyer beware. Regardless of the “certificate,” don’t invest more money on gems than you can afford to laugh off when you return home to have some of them assessed as coloured glass. 

Jet-skis. In Pattaya (and elsewhere) unsuspecting tourists are often extorted by jet-ski hirers who claim that “damage” has been done to their craft. Threats and violence, plus official indifference, leave victims with little option but to pay up, big time. Jet-skis are allegedly “banned” at many popular beaches but still remain dangerously unregulated, a real hazard to swimmers. If you cause death or damage when driving a jet ski, you’re in major trouble. 

Fighting. Thailand is a very safe country, but never get into a physical fight with a Thai (such as a jet-ski operator). Queensbury does not rule here. In the Land of Smiles, they fight to win at all costs, and in numbers. Being a foreigner is no protection; it’s more like an invitation once the brawl begins. And don’t assume that the law is on your side. 

Taxi Mafias. Phuket taxi and tuk-tuk drivers collude in charging passengers absurd fees. Koh Samui has a version of the same problem, with drivers often refusing to use meters; in such a case, set the fare before staring the ride. If possible, arrange an airport transfer prior to your arrival. Bangkok is not a problem in this respect — just make sure the taxi meter is turned on. Pattaya’s “baht bus” (shared pick-up truck) system work admirably: basically, it is just 10 baht for any journey. 

IN GENERAL 
Finally, a few obvious and not-so obvious pointers:

Drugs: don’t even think about scoring anything unless you feel spending the next five to ten-plus in the Monkey House. 

ATM fees: cash machines are everywhere but Thai banks keep 150 baht (approx. $5) each time you withdraw (no matter how little) from a foreign account. And that’s on top of whatever your home bank also charges on the transaction. 

Street elephants: buying bananas from mahouts to feed young elephants that are paraded through the street just adds to the animal’s misery. 

Got all that? OK. Now go have fun.

PICS: Julie Miller